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Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Dear Customer Services



Dear Customer Services,

I like Jelly Babies. They make me smile. They taste nice, and they don't make me feel quite so guilty as some other confections do.

However. Why are there so many orange Jelly Babies? I recently opened a bag that was probably 75% orange. Now this is just not playing fair.

I will eat the orange ones, under sufferance, but readily hold my hand up to these not being at the top of my favourites list. The plan is – eat an orange one, then have another colour (preferably pink, a rare creature) to neutralise the taste of neat orange squash, but that bag contained so few non-orange that I had to resort to Plan B, skewer the orange ones on a paperclip to form an orange Jelly Babies kebab and give it to my friend. I do not like giving away my Jelly Babies, I am very selfish with my treats.

Other stores make their own version of Jelly Babies and their orange flavour is more mandarin but, I am afraid to say, yours is toxic.

I know you are going to tell me that the bags are filled randomly but it is surprising how much randomness affects the orange ones. Or is it that they just breed faster?

I would like to buy a bag that has more than its fair share of pink random filling, but I think I stand a far better chance of winning the Lottery.

Yours, demanding more colour equality

30 comments:

Wishcraft said...

Dear Squirrel, you are a looper... but I luvs ya!

By the way, I love orange ones, feel free to send them to me :o) Lisa x

cebelica said...

Lol, this made me laugh! :D Exactly what I needed after a looooong day. He he! Hugs! xx

Mad Moose said...

Love it! Please tell me you have actually sent this?!

Clare *Littlebear* said...

I love the orange ones - they are my favourites. A bag like this would make me very happy!!
Clare x

Dot said...

Squirrel, I love you and your blog.
hugs Dorte

Zippy said...

Teheeeeheeee! I just love this and can't wait to see their reply! Best complaint letter I have ever read! xxxx

Joey said...

Squirrel I hope they take note!!! you made me SMILE xxxx

pickle said...

Hiya Squirrel, It's been ages since my last visit sorry about that, but I see you haven't lost you sense of humour! Just doing some catching up and every single creation since my last visit is just as beautiful as the last. I am particularly liking you recent LOTV cuties..hmm I can feel a spend coming on now,,naughty squirrel!!

Loving this complaint letter and can't wait to see the reply :P
Kerry x

Pink Dandelion said...

You're dead right Sx It's a conspiracy it's the same with fruit pastilles, too many orange and green and licorice allsorts, too many brown ones. Just had to laugh at the image of your poor jellybaby kebab lol. Debs xx

Chrissy said...

Well my friend, I like the black ones...where have they all gone, now you only get a dark purple...not the same, I like black...the orange does kick your taste buds, I agree....

Luv CHRISSYxx

Kathleen said...

Hehehe so funny Squirrel, did you really send this? I actually hope not as the orange ones are my favs!!!! So if you ever feel the need to share out the orange, send them my way! Lol
Hugs
Kat xx

Lorraine said...

HAHAHA i SO AGREE IN THE SWEETS I LIKE FRUIT PASTILLES THEY ALWAYS HAVE WAY TOO MANY GREENS SO NOT FAIR I FEEL A PERTITION COMING ON LOL XX

Kat said...

I have to agree with you about orange sweeties Squirrel. I don't like orange anything! I don't like the colour and if I have sweeties with orange ones I eat them first to get rid of them. I don't mind orange coloured smarties or the orange liquorice allsorts but anything else....yuk.

I'm still laughing at your "letter."

Kat xx

Crafty Urchins said...

hahaha, you`re so funny hun.you can have all my jelly babies cos i don`t like them, its the texture.yet i love jelly.yep weird ;D

xx coops xx

coops said...

whooooops thats my comment above hun.was logged into the wrong blog.hehe :D

xx coops xx

Pauline C said...

Oh Squirrel you do make me laugh so!! Personally I would be happy if the whole bag were filled with orange ones as they are my faves lol!!
Pauline x

Samantha said...

tehehhehheee!! you nutter! thehhehe I am with Zippy can't wait to see there reply!

But I do not like jelly babies so I can not relate to the flavours! thehehee But enjoyed your post thanks xx

Christy Beans said...

Didn't your bag contain the congratulatory note? You won the lottery... the Orange Jelly Baby lottery!!! If they'd known you were going to whinge ungratefully about your winnings, perhaps they would have accidentally-on-purpose thrown your name back into the pot and chosen a more grateful beneficiary on whom to bestow the orange-ous bounty.

;) Mwah, The Nut

Cynthia said...

Gidday my friendly Squirrel, first off congrats on the PBSC blog win.
Hey if you don't like all the Orange Jelly Babies I've got the perfect solution, send them to ME!! I like Orange, you can have my pink one's.Ha Ha I needed your dose of humour, thanks mate.
Hugs
Cynthia

Mandy said...

I love this letter had me laughing right to the end,please say you actually sent it to them I would love to know what the reply would be....
Mandy x

Rufus said...

Wow, got your tail fully fluffed, don't ya?! LOL!! Hope you sent this, can't wait to see the reply.
Thanks for the much needed giggle.
R/
P.S. orange isn't my fav either!

Marianne's Craftroom said...

I just had to hop over when I saw the thumbnail. I was curious to see how you had used jelly babies on a card! I hope you have sent this tot the manufacturers, did make me smile.

Squirrel said...

LOLOL
Is that what you were doing on next-door's bird feeder? Trying to get the taste of orange jelly babies out of your mouth? They have an orange-free fruit'n'nut fat block out there today if you want to pop over for a taste. I know, 'cos I left it on their doorstep for you...

Fluffy hugs,
West Country Squirrel XXX Oo-aaarrr

Jackie said...

I adore jelly babies whatever their colour, apart from the red ones. I eat them though because like you, I don't like giving my jelly babies away :o)
Jackie xx

debby4000 said...

OMG this is so funny, do hope you sent it.
luv
Debby

kay said...

let us know how you get on with the complaint letter,it made me smile,thanks for the kind words re otiz,x

TallyTalulah said...

How come you get all orange ones? - I get all the pink ones and they are yuk - end up giving them to the dogs (naughty I know but it's funny watching them chew!). I'd like a bag of green ones with a few red and yellow and the odd black but NO PINK!

I'll let you into a sad secret here - on Christmas morning if I haven't got Jelly Babies (Bassetts only please) I cancel Christmas and spend the day in a huff!

Send the oranges to me - it will be a change from the pink ones

TallyTalulah said...

How come you get all orange ones? - I get all the pink ones and they are yuk - end up giving them to the dogs (naughty I know but it's funny watching them chew!). I'd like a bag of green ones with a few red and yellow and the odd black but NO PINK!

I'll let you into a sad secret here - on Christmas morning if I haven't got Jelly Babies (Bassetts only please) I cancel Christmas and spend the day in a huff!

Send the oranges to me - it will be a change from the pink ones

Vicky said...

Lol you are a nutter but I love that lol.....altho I confess I cannot abide jelly babies they are just horrid, I prefer hard boiled sweets particular rosy apple sweeties that you get from asda my goodness I have a bag everywhere so I can always grab a sweetie whenever I feel the urge....in my kitchen, in my van, in my craft room......lol yep nearly everywhere I do draw the line at the bathroom tho lol.

Lotsa hugs Vicky xxx

Berni said...

Brilliant! You've really made me smile!

I can't stand jelly babies at all, and I have a prejudice against orange sweets- so I'm with you all the way!

Hope you get a response

Berni x

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