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Sunday, 27 April 2014

Criminal Squirrel

Hello all, hope your Sunday has gone well - I'm here rather later than anticipated but better late than never, apparently.

I'm feeling much better tumwise than yesterday, thank you for all your kind wishes, but still not feeling 100% ticketyboo in the mood department.  I think what is required is a well placed leather clad phalanges velocity driven in the vague direction of gluteus maximus.  Translated as a swift kick up the bum!

I don't think I mention the shoplifting incident to you ....... well, it all started when I got home from work the other night and opened the kitchen/garage door to pop out to the fridge freezer.  I could hear running water.  On the roof.  It took a few seconds for the penny to drop and then I scampered upstairs as fast as my hairy little knees would allow.  Sweeping the detritus of deodorant, talc and moisturiser onto the floor, I hoiked the lid off the cistern to find the water level less than half an inch from the top!!  

I flushed the loo to get rid of the water, had a tinker about with the mechanics and watched the refill.  The water ran, the cistern filled, the water slowed, and slowed some more, until it was no more than a couple of drips.  I put the lid back and trotted back downstairs.

Twenty minutes later I could hear running water again.  Repeat above performance.  Twice.

As I was disappearing up the stairs for the fourth time, Toad came home.  What are you doing?  He yelled to my hot and flustered behind as I shot back into the en-suite.  I'm going to have to clean the bathroom and call a plumber I yelled back at him.  He came up to have a look.  Now Toad, bless him, is no more of a toilet expert than I am but he gamely fudged about with the fittings, and we stood and watched.  Still the drips.  Then he noticed that the bit that holds the handle to the tank was loose.  It's the gizmo that's connected to the wotsit that's connected to the hoojamaflip that's connected to the thingummie.  So he tightened it, nice and snug.  Hey presto, the water stopped.

So we went shopping.  Now, I can only put this down to my mind being filled with horrors of a flooded bathroom.  When we got back, about an hour later I rushed to the garage to hear .... silence.  So, feeling relieved that the emergency had been solved I started to unpack the shopping.  Only to discover that I had accidentally shoplifted.  OMG!!!  I can explain how it happened - I went to get one of our usual items, only for the scanner to tell me that it was on offer and to scan each item.  So I picked up a second, only to get the same message.  I scanned five times and still no offer price, just the same message.  Realising that there must be an error in the coding, I removed four of the five from the scanner.  Only to get home and discover that I had two of the five in the bags.  Ooops.  The ultimate buy-one-get-one-free - except it was an accident.  Funny thing was, we were selected for a random trolley inspection on the way out too!

Yoo-hoo!  Are you still there?  I have a card for you, honest, I do.  Here it is:


This cutie stamp is Playtime from Crafters Companion
Mixed media this time, with Polychromos Pencils and Distress Inks (ReInkers)
Grand Nestie dies
Dovecraft Back to Basics papers III and IV
Personal Impressions sentiment
Woodware retro flower punches and some gingham Card Candy

Can anyone suggest a way of getting paper out of the die without tearing the delicate loops?  It happens every time and I always end up covering the gaps with something.

And finally, if you are still awake, a Candy Reminder - one week to go before I draw the winner of the £20 Bunny Zoe's voucher so if you haven't entered yet, what's stopping you?

Hugs to all
Criminal Squirrel xx

16 comments:

Pamela said...

Glad you are feeling better. What an exciting life you lead!!

Your card is so sweet. I find that using waxed paper between the die and patterned paper helps with the fancy dies.

Pam x

Sarah said...

This is wonderful Squirrel (I will be looking out for you on Crimewatch!!). Great image and the colours are perfect!! Glad you are feeling a little better xx

Claire said...

LOL I do love readin your posts - so funny and I would really not worry about the extra shopping you had! Love your card, so pretty. I sometimes use Cut Rite wax paper which helps release the dies easier or I use a pin to pop it all out carefully - the intricate ones are the worst! Hope this helps. Hugs, Claire x PS. Glad you are feeling a little better

Tanya said...

Haha I think everyone's accidentally shoplifted at least once in their lives lol! Anyone that says otherwise is a liar ;)

Gorgeous card - I find that poking out all the gappy bits with a pokey tool (or pin, or needle) sometimes helps to loosen the overall diecut. I guess patience and doing it very carefully and slowly is the way forward - if only I had more patience hehe!

Tags xx

Sue said...

Oh dear Squirrel, you did make me laugh and I really did need to be cheered up so thank you!
Your card is gorgeous. I love the sweet image, wonderful colouring and pretty flowers.
I do the same as Pamela, when I use intricate dies I place a piece of waxed or greaseproof paper between the die and the card, this usually (but not always) helps!
Hugs Sue xx

Donna Mosley said...

Glad you're feeling better Squirrel, love the gorgeous card, very sweet image and pretty design.

Donna x

Net said...

I suggest a stripy sweater and eye mask for your next shopping trip....

Jennifer said...

Love your card, Squirrel. The 'ice cream' colours are so pretty.

You really crack me up sometimes with your posts...John often hears me giggling.

As with some of the other ladies who have commented, I find that waxed lunch wrap is very effective with intricate dies.

Hugs,
Jennifer. x
P.S. I hope your upset tummy improves soon.

Jackie said...

A very sweet card, prettily coloured. I hope the toilet behaves now :o)
Jackie xx
P.S. No more shop lifting!!!!!

Marianne's Craftroom said...

Glad you are feeling better. I think we have mostly all accidentally shoplifted at some time. I think the supermarkets can afford it though. Fab cute card. I occasionally use greaseproof paper for tricky ones like the floral oval. I do poke all the bits out before removing too.

McCrafty's Cards said...

Stealing bags of nuts from the shops is just not on Squirrel rofl I hope you are feeling better today, gorgeous card fabulous colouring of the adorable image.
Kevin xx

Bridget Curnow said...

Sounds like a pretty eventful day bless you hopefully that's your 3 for a while lol, I do hope you are soon feeling yourself again soon,
Take care
Big crafty hugs
Bridget :) x

Caroline said...

I love this x
I also love the shoplifting & trolly inspection LOL supermarkets own fault for making us serve ourselves!!! xx

Annette said...

You do make me smile. Glad the loo is sorted out, but shocked to know that I am associated with criminals! Love the card honey. Does she have any shopping smuggled away in that pram!??? You may want to take a peek :0)

Hugs
Annette
xx

Kat W said...

*Finally* I get to hear the story of the water leak and the shoplifting - my mind was inventing all sorts of nonsense! I'm sorry to say I laughed quite a bit as I read it! I am glad the toilet is all fixed and as for the shoplifting, just enjoy your freebies!

Your card is so sweet - pretty pastels and the die cut may be tricksy but it is very lovely! I do the same as everyone else with delicate dies - greaseproof paper and a pokey tool!

Big hugs, Kat xx

KraftyKoolKat said...

You do get yourself into some exciting situations don't you? I have once done a similar thing and was worried about going back in the store the next week.

Gorgeous card by the way.

Hugs
Cathy
xxxxx

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